Only kidding. I'm not selling metal slides for children, although I wish I was.
What a perfect crime. Go around the local parks of Mid Sussex during daytime, simply unbolt the slide, chuck it in the back of a van and off you go. Who would possibly think that you are stealing the slide? If anyone were to question you, just claim you're a council contractor, taking the slide away for maintenance, or say that it is being replaced with a better model.
Once you have the slide in your possession, off you go to a scrap yard and exchange it for some money. Easy!
Thankfully, the theives did not steal any slides from Burgess Hill, this is because the thieves probably live in the town and didn't wish to upset the local children.
Both the Leader newspaper and the Mid Sussex Times featured the story this week.
My favourite councillor Publicity Pru managed to not only have some quotes printed but was also in a photo, pictured with some posh mothers in Lindfield.
Of the thefts, Publicity Pru said "Stealing from young children is a despicable act and those responsible should be ashamed of themselves"
Ashamed? Laughing all the way to the bank more like.