A Round-Up of Burgess Hill News

Hello my loyal blog readers.

Lots has been happening over the past week. Here are the highlights:

Annual Town Meeting
On Tuesday it was the annual town meeting. For security purposes and the fact that there was a big night of European football on TV, I opted not to attend. According to Simon Hicks' blog it was a well attended meeting with plenty discussed. No reports of any violence, so the Friends of the Green Cicle Network must have been on their best behaviour (if they bothered to attend at all!)

Website Comments and Emails are Booming
Since the website facelift in February, visitors to Burgess Hill Uncovered have really been making great use of the comments facility on our news items it's great to get instant feedback on what we write and to see what other people's opinions are. Additionaly, the introduction of the new contact form has seen a constant stream of emails arrive in the BHU inbox. We're getting quite a few 'tip-offs' from members of the public that we'll be following up. It's all very exciting.

Facebook Fans Pass 500
It's delightful to see that our Burgess Hill Uncovered Facebook Page has quietly amassed over 500 fans. It's another great way of updating the locals of website updates and news of what's happening in the town. I'm in no doubt that our presence on Facebook is the reason for significantly increased traffic to Burgess Hill Uncovered.

Fairtrade Festival Market Review
Last weekend the BHU team headed to the Martlets Hall for the Fairtrade Festival Market, we were hoping to find some chocolate on offer this year, did Robert Eggleston come up with the goods? Find out here in our pictorial report

Oakmeeds Cashless Catering
Have you read our report on the Oakmeeds Cashless Catering System that keeps failing? Someone at the college thought it was a wonderful idea for pupils to access their prepaid accounts by using a fingerprint scanner. The new system was supposed to cut down the queueing time, however pupils report it's taking twice as long and that break and lunchtimes are having to be extended so that the kids actually get to eat!

And finally.....
Have you seen the 'Hitler Moves To Burgess Hill' series of videos? Part one has received over 1200 views in a short period of time and has proved a hit with our Facebook fans. Of course, with Hitler being the main focus of the video it's not going to be everyone's cup of tea.

My personal favourite of the series so far is 'Hitler has his first dinner in his new Burgess Hill Home' Enjoy!(Warning: contains text of an adult nature)



I was unaware that the culprit was back in town. We must track him down soon.

Video - Traffic Congestion On Chanctonbury Road Revealed!

So West Sussex County Council carried out a traffic survey when deciding whether to allow themselves to build the new special needs school on the same plot of land occupied by London Meed and Oakmeeds.

The public complained that Chanctonbury Road was already congested by the weekday school run and that an additional school would make matters even worse.

Clearly WSCC didn't deem the situation to be a problem as the constuction of the school is to go ahead.

We here at Burgess Hill Uncovered saw it as our public duty to drive along Chantonbury Road on Friday afternoon and film the traffic situation to once and for all prove if there is a significant problem or not.

Place your bets now.......



There's already been discussion about the video on our rapidly growing Facebook Page One member pointed out that we didn't encounter a bus. It was a shame really, as that would have been the icing on the cake for our damning video.

West Sussex County Council have made a HUGE error.

What do you think good reader?

Teen Girl Punched in Haywards Heath?

I was sorting through some old newspaper cuttings earlier. I found a story that I meant to share with you earlier in the year. It's a Haywards Heath piece of news, but worth blogging about anyway...

Teenager Mugged
A terrified TEENAGER was PUNCHED in the face and robbed in Haywards Heath as she was walking to school.....

....the attacker then threatened to punch the 12-year-old girl before finally wrenching the bag from her grasp and running off

So, it wasn't a teenager, it was a twelve-year-old, and the girl was not punched as the opening paragraph claimed, merely threatened.

Were the staff at the local paper writing the news with their eyes closed that week?

Snow sees Burgess Hill grind to a hault

Hello Readers.

Today was my first trip out on foot since my operation. Ideally I would have stayed at home convalescing until the 2018 World Cup Finals in England, but with snow on the ground, I was curious to see how the town was coping.


Surprisingly St Johns Park was rather empty, plenty of untouched snow although families were enjoying sliding down the slope where the outdoor swimming pool used to be. Yet again the public forgot about all the snow in the tennis courts, the location in which a snow penis was sculptured in January. Its the perfect arena for crafting things, I'm possibly one of the only people in this town clever enough to utilise it.


Anyway, enough of the perfect spots for enjoying the snow, you'll all be wanting to know about the route into the town centre. The path through St Johns Park and up the side of Lower Church Road had been gritted, although the footpath by the church was a hazard. Thankfully the pedestrianised area of the Martlets had been treated and there were two walk ways cleared in the snow for entry to shops on either side. The council shouldn't have bothered though as only about a third of the shops were open. It's crazy how everything stops when we have a large amount of snow. If significant snowfall becomes a regular occurance and not just once every three years or so, then the councils and national transport departments are going to need adequate plans in place.

Among the shops closed in town were Truffles the bakery and Argos, yet the mighty Lidl and the second hand computer game shop were open for business as usual.

It was a shame to see Burgess Hill Library shut too, I wanted to get a book out on how to clear the snow.

At Waitrose car park it was encouraging to see that a passage had been cleared in order to aid the shoppers. We didn't check out any other car parks but my source in Haywards Heath revealed that the MSDC car park by Marks and Spencer had been treated with a pathetic attempt at making it usable whilst the car park round the corner at Tesco Express had received no sort of attention. Well done Mid Sussex District Council!


If you'd like to moan about the lack of snow clearance in and around Burgess Hill, then I highly recommend this Facebook group 'West Sussex Council Council - Have your say' It's full of moaners like my good self.

I could witter on some more, but I won't.
Good Bye. x

Man's Arm Impaled on Park Bench

Disaster during a trip to St Johns Park.


I spotted a broken park bench....


I wish that I'd reported it, for on my way back from town, an innocent chap had impaled his arm on the broken support.


He's now going to sue the council for thousands of pounds and probably go on holiday to Las Vegas to watch Celine Dion perform at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace.

If you're not foolish, then you'll have realised that this incident didn't actually happen, although I do wonder how long it will be until someone spots the money making opportunity in this dangerous bench. The council might want to get a move on and fix it.

As for who broke it, I blame the pensioners. Why not!

Children's Slides For Sale

Only kidding. I'm not selling metal slides for children, although I wish I was.

What a perfect crime. Go around the local parks of Mid Sussex during daytime, simply unbolt the slide, chuck it in the back of a van and off you go. Who would possibly think that you are stealing the slide? If anyone were to question you, just claim you're a council contractor, taking the slide away for maintenance, or say that it is being replaced with a better model.
Once you have the slide in your possession, off you go to a scrap yard and exchange it for some money. Easy!

Thankfully, the theives did not steal any slides from Burgess Hill, this is because the thieves probably live in the town and didn't wish to upset the local children.

Both the Leader newspaper and the Mid Sussex Times featured the story this week.
My favourite councillor Publicity Pru managed to not only have some quotes printed but was also in a photo, pictured with some posh mothers in Lindfield.

Of the thefts, Publicity Pru said "Stealing from young children is a despicable act and those responsible should be ashamed of themselves"

Ashamed? Laughing all the way to the bank more like.

Burgess Hill's Premier Blogger Returns To Country

Hello Loyal Readers

After the distressing complaint email received a few weeks back, there was only one thing to do........ leave the country.
I jumped on a plane and got as far as Scotland.

Whilst there I saw this...


and this...


For those of you that don't know your Scotland, I visited Loch Lomond and Whitelee Windfarm - Europes biggest windfarm in fact.

Quite frankly, Scotland is superb. They even sell Golly Wogs in gift shops.

Anyway, I returned to Burgess Hill, full of renewed vigour, it lasted all of 5 minutes before I realised that I was back in Sussex and not in the lovely village of Eaglesham.

Sadly, a check of my emails has revealed that I've still not been headhunted by the Mid Sussex Times. This is of course good news for you loyal readers as the normal blogging service will resume, I just need to find a victim.

BHU in Email Complaint Shocker!

Readers, my weekend has been soured.

I awoke on Sunday morning, still on a sugar induced high thanks to consuming half a tub of Gormet Jellys Beans. My mood was quickly sunk when I checked the Burgess Hill Uncovered emails. Sent at 10:07 this morning, BHU received its first COMPLAINT email in a long while....


How selfish of me, I completely forgot that I am bound by law to serve the people of Burgess Hill. I've let everyone down. How could I not have taken a camera to an event in our town for the best part of three years. My laziness has led to G----- S------ emailing me on his first visit to the website. I feel so terrible that I have disappointed him. Of course, he is right, if I'm not updating the website, then I should not be doing it at all. I can't remember the last time I wrote a blog entry or filed a news report. In fact, I shall be removing Burgess Hill Uncovered from the World Wide Web this week. I have failed you all.


Just who on earth does G----- S------- think he is?
My guess is that he's a miserable, self-important (insert expletive of choice here)

That is all.

Sport England reject Burgess Hill Special School Proposals

Just a little update to reveal that Sport England have registered a formal objection regarding the changes proposed to the Oakmeeds playing fields. This is great news for all those against the building of a special needs school on the site. Sport England have said it's a lack of information that has led them to registering an objection for now as they don't think that it complies with their Playing Field Policy. A glimmer of hope?

Council waste £300k of Taxpayer's money.

Do you remember back in late March when Labour district councillor Paddy Henry revealed he had seen documentation that seemed to indictate that the District Council took out a loan from Thornfield properties? Offering up Cyprus Road to Thornfield as security if they were to default on the loan?

Well, the district auditor got to work on investigating the claims and her findings were revealed this week. Surprise surprise! It was announced that the council tossed away £302,000 of the taxpayers money in interest repayments to Thornfield Properties on a loan that should never have been taken out.

MSDC are so careful with the public money, remember the reported £300k loss on the Big Culture show at Victoria Park a few years ago?

All these losses happened under the leadership of Council Chief Executive John Jory, a man that was collecting an eye-watering yearly salary of £138,000.
He has recently resigned from the council, probably before he was sacked!
With his track record, it's somewhat shocking that he's managed to find another job as Chief Executive of Reigate and Banstead Borough Council. Clearly his new employers didn't use the Internet to research his excellent track record in helping to make taxpayers money disappear!

Mid Sussex District Council - Making life better for everyone but the residents.

If you'd like to read the full 53 page report on the 'Cyprus Road Agreement' you can download the PDF file here.

Weakest News Story EVER ?!?!?!

I was in two minds as to whether to comment on a news story that I found online as I didn't want to be harsh about a well respected news journalist of which I too very much like.

BUT.... It must have been a VERY slow newsweek at the Mid Sussex Times where chief reporter Phil Dennett gets to write a story about his 60th birthday and the present that his work colleagues purchased him. The gift in question was a chocolate football, but it's no ordinary piece of confectionary, it's the lucky football that helped England beat Slovenia on Wednedsday. It's lucky because Phil vowed not to eat it until England won their next game. England went on the beat Slovenia 1-0. The chocolate football was then eaten.

Really? REALLY? Come on!

A friend said to me on reading the story "Well that's England's World Cup chances gone if he's gone and eaten the lucky football already, we'll lose the next game!"

I'm writing this entry on Sunday morning, three and a half hours away from England taking on Germany in the last 16. I've been eying up a Muller yoghurt in the fridge, it was purchased for me by the BHU office cleaner. I've decided not to eat it until England win their next game. Will it be THE lucky yoghurt that helps England win? I have no doubt about it.

Pensioners Taught How To Find Porn On The Internet!

Yes, that's right, as this blog post title reads, pensioners will be taught how to find porn on the internet.

According to the freebie paper 'The Citizen' a series of free 'Silver Surfer' events will be held at the public libraries in Haywards Heath and Burgess Hill.

The article includes the following:

"The taster sessions will include a tour of the most popular parts of the Internet, and give participants the chance to practice and ask questions"

The Burgess Hill sessions are taking place this Friday between 9:30 - 4pm. Each session will last 55 minutes.

I'm very tempted to pop down there to see what genre of adult sites the older generation find appealing.

Middy skew figures to Tierney's detriment

"Lets not allow facts to get in the way of a good story" That's what the editor of the Mid Sussex Times probably told reporter Finn Scott-Delany as he tried to add as much shine as possible to Nicholas Soames' victory in the local elections.

It was written:
Hopes that the Lib Dems would be able to captialise on the hype surrounding their leader Nick Clegg proved unfounded with voters rallying behind Mr Soames.

Mrs Tierney received 3,000 LESS votes than she did in 2005.

Those of you that were aware of the voting data, Tierney actually received an extra 3,000 votes compared to 2005. Such careless reporting by the Middy.

Imagine what damage could be done to the Jonas Brothers if they lived in Mid Sussex. The Mid Sussex Times would be liable to incorrectly report that one of the members has induldged in pre-marital sex. thus ruining their wholesome image.

Haywards Heath suffers major Rat infestation!

I'm currently reading last weeks Mid Sussex Times, I was delighted to discover that Victoria Park in Haywards Heath is suffering from an infestation of Rats.
Poison has been laid descreetly at the scene, out of reach of children in attempt to get rid of our rodent cousins. The council are appealing for members of the public to refrain from dropping any food and not to feed the birds as this would help the Rats thrive in the area.

The next time I'm unfortunate enough to be in Haywards Heath, I think I'll buy myself a LARGE portion of chips from the local chippy and accidently put a hole in the paper as I go for a mazey walk across the grounds of Victoria Park.

You'd never find an infestation of Rats in Burgess Hill, it's far too clean compared to grubby old Haywards Heath.

Fire at the Junction Pub

On Wednesday morning, fire crews in West Sussex were busy attempting to douse the roaring flames at the Junction Pub in Burgess Hill. Thankfully the pub has been closed for a rather long time so no damage to business was incurred, nor was there anyone living in the building.

An uncomfirmed rumour is that a developer wanted to build lots of flats on the land, but had planning permission refused. Would a large piece of empty land due to a bulldozed pub help their cause?

Local videographer Eddie Howland was at the scene and captured the hunky fireman hard at work with their hoses.



To see what the Junction looked like before it mysteriously caught fire, then take a look at Part 2 of our Burgess Hill Pub Guide.

Argus' Burgess Hill Related April Fools Attempt

How did I miss this?

I was browsing the most excellent 'North Stand Chat' forum this morning where a thread from April had been bumped to the first page. It was a thread regarding April fools jokes that the Argus cobble together in an attempt to catch out their readers.
Their big April fool this year was to claim that the clock on St Johns' Church in Burgess Hill was going to be replaced with a digital one.
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/6242839.19th_Century_Sussex_church_clock_face_replaced_by_digital_screen/

A poor attempt really. What sucker would have fallen for that?

Serco Refuse Collection Truck Damages Trees

Forgive me loyal readers, for I had forgotten to tell you of the following story until now.

On Tuesday 9th March, the Serco Refuse Collection Truck was carrying out it's duty in the west of Burgess Hill.

Reversing into a cul-de-sac, the driver thought it would be novel to make his way down the road at an angle, mounting a grassy area and RIPPING a branch off a tree. His fellow workers had to shout at him to ensure that he avoided hitting many parked cars.

The driver had to correct his line, and in doing so surpassed himself by damaging another tree on the other side of the road!

Surprisingly, it only took the council two weeks to come and clean up the mess.

MSDC really need to have a word with Serco and find out what Monkeys they're paying to drive their trucks. My office cleaner could drive one better, and she's a woman.

Tesco want a Timpson on their land

If wanting to expand their store by 50% wasn't enough, Tesco have now cheekily submitted an application to Mid Sussex District Council for a Timpson on their land.

Timpson provide shoe repair, key cutting and dry cleaning services. Having a Timpson on site at Tesco could be looked upon as being rather handy. However, there is already a Timpson in Burgess Hill town centre along with other businesses that offer dry cleaning.

It's clear for all to see that Tesco are slowly trying to become the central hub for all retail activity in Burgess Hill.

Thankfully, the Town Council planning committee met last night and they have made their recommendation for the Timpson at Tesco to be refused. Good for them.

However, a recommendation is all that it is, the District Council will have the final say, and if they have already got into bed with Tesco regarding the 50% expansion, then allowing a Timpson to be built would be no surprise.

For further information check out Simon Hicks' blog, he's part of the town council planning committee, so knows his stuff (I hope!)

Will MSDC allow Tesco to kill the town centre?

Today I finally got round to writing about the Proposed Tesco expansion in Burgess Hill. I chose to publish it on the main Burgess Hill Uncovered website, as a result it's not as opinionated and crazy as the content that you find located on this blog.

What I will say here is that MSDC are going to look like complete idiots if they do allow Tesco to expand by 50%, a move that will see Tesco stocking many of the items that you could get in the town centre. Remember, MSDC want you all to support the local traders and their car parks, so it would be very fitting if they do allow Tesco to expand, it would sum up the council perfectly - A complete and utter shambles!

The District Council elections are taking place in 2011. In Burgess Hill, I get a sneaky feeling that there may be a few upsets coming.

Anyway, for now, please do go and read my superb news report.
http://www.burgesshilluncovered.co.uk/news/2010-03-10-tesco-expansion-plan.html There's even a poll that you can vote on, how exciting!

Stormtroopers Invade Burgess Hill!

Every now and again, I search You Tube to see if there have been any new videos added that are related to our fine town. Usually the new offerings are from some guy that is obsessed with filming trains and thinks everyone else wants to see them. Problem is, it clutters up the 'Burgess Hill' search results page.

Anyway, a quick search last night threw up the following video:



So, some geeky guys dressed as Stormtroopers decided to hang around Burgess Hill, looking for some love and attention that they don't get from their families.

Seriously though, I think it's rather cool, Star Wars fans would have enjoyed it, and children would have been thrilled and probably a little scared at the same time.

I'm rather sad at seeing this video though as I was in the town centre on Saturday for the first time in months and I did a whole circuit and didn't happen to see these guys. If I had found them, I would have requested they blow up all the parking metres in town.

But why were they in town? Were they promoting the Burgess Hill Fairtrade Festival by way of threatening to blow off peoples heads if the didn't go and buy some beads from the Martlets Hall?

Their video contains footage shot in various shops around town, I'm surprised that this was allowed, unless of course they did it without permission and the shopkeepers were too scared to tell them to stop.

Was it prearranged, or was it a random outing for the Stormtroopers?
I shall endeavour to find out for you, my loyal readers.

Perhaps next week people will dress up as terrorists with bombs strapped to their bodies..... Well, it's no real difference to walking around with huge rifles now, is it?